All my life I have been living under the influence of stereotypes: you have to be a good girl, my relatives said, you have to act like this in society, my teachers said, you have to see relationships through a certain perspective, my friends tought me. And so I was living. Under all these influences loosing myself over the years. This year something changed. Maybe it was already last year.. I decided that I have had some things bothering me for too long and that I have to change that. So, here I am, sitting in the airport and waiting for my flight to Abu Dabi and then to my final destination: Colombo.
It is not an easy step for me.. I am still sitting and thinking: how is it going to be. Should I have at least some expectations or should I just let it happen. Even if what happens is something that I have never experienced before and might be afraid of??? For now it seems that I am opting for the second option. Just to see if I can have some part of my life without any preselected frames and conceptions.
What is my near future plan?
Yes, I always have some plans. I am that kind of person.. I feel the need to have something in my mind in order to have my present days organised around the future outcome.
I was hesitating whether I should take a laptop for me – after all, I am going on a health/spiritual/zen trip and modern technologies somehow don’t seem to fit in those surroundings. However, I can’t deny that I am living in today and that writing on the keyboard has won over writing with a hand. Hence, my plan is to write a small piece every day during two weeks to register emotions, happenings and development of the journey.
What has been planned?
As it is really tiring to be sick for a long time and not being able to find a reason for that (hence, no cure), a little bit over a year ago I found an Ayurvedic doctor (who meanwhile has also become my spiritual/mental guide). The treatment (seen weirdly by many western European people) has slowly but steadily improved my condition. And that is good news. But… it started to seem too slow for me (yes, I am also one of those impatient ones). So, I decided that I need a full 2 week treatment in a place where they are specialised in that.
That is how I arrived to my choice of destination: Sri Lanka. On arrival I will be picked up in the airport and transferred to the resort where on the first day I will meet the doctor who will evaluate my health and prescribe appropriate treatment. What it involves, I have no clue, but on their website it seemed that it is going to be related with getting up at 6, meditating, having yoga classes, having massages, specialised food and medicines. Of course, this is MY perception of how it would be, the reality remains yet to be seen 🙂
How do I feel about it?
Rarely there are people who easily can talk about their feelings. I mean – talk for real. I am not one of those who can do that but if I would need to summarise how this make me feel, I would say that I am a bit afraid, a lot of excited and very very very keen on seeing how the reality will be 🙂